April 2008
“The time has come. The time has come. The time is now. Just go. … I don’t...”
– MD
The Low Road to Victory →
I’m obliterated beyond drunk, and in less than three hours I need to wake up to get in a car that is taking me to a cab that is taking me to the plane that is taking me to Palm Springs to sun myself to a steak in my mouth death. I’m wearing my brand new white speedo under my jeans. It’s serious. But what the fuck. Who the fuck likes Hillary Clinton? I want to know. I seriously...
What’s happening on CNN right now is insane. The polygamist lady has the most tremendous megabrow of anybody who has ever been on television, and she needs her daughter back.
Bomb →
Couldn’t agree more. That debate performance was abysmal, and it is confusing the shit out of me.
In other news, are Dave and I the only two non-senior-citizens watching this thing? Every ad has been for digestive aides and wrinkle cream! Where the hell are the “I’m a Mac, I’m a PC” guys?
Speaking of elitist, I am eating sushi and drinking sake while I watch the debate. Mmmmm… sashimi.
In case you missed my rant about Keith Richards… Hey, did you hear about how doctors and scientists want to examine Keith Richards’ body when he dies because he might be something of a genetic anomaly? Totally makes sense, right? Because while Keith bears the likeness of a man who was strapped to a skyward facing rock, and pelted with sleet and hail while simultaneously assailed by the...
“This sounds like a deleted song from the closing credits of The Lion King.”
– Adam, upon hearing a Vampire Weekend song for the first time yesterday.
Hey, Obama boys: Back off already! →
cameronr: Young women are growing increasingly frustrated with the fanatical support of Barack and gleeful bashing of Hillary. Yeah, young WHITE women.
Bill Clinton Said the Same Exact Shit in 1991 →
“You know, he [Bush] wants to divide us over race. I’m from the South. I understand this. This quota deal they’re gonna pull in the next election is the same old scam they’ve been pulling on us for decade after decade after decade. When their economic policies fail, when the country’s coming apart rather than coming together, what do they do? They find the most...
WatchIf you’ve never watched a grown, sweaty, portly European man kiss a young boy and and suck on his neck, then turn him upside down and seemingly simulate oral sex while they both sing in front of a live, amused audience, it really is something not to be missed. (NOTE: Never, ever visit the site www.jj.am. Don’t be tempted to do it just because I told you not to and you’re a...
“To suggest that rape, when conducted without violence, is a serious crime is...”
– Nick Erikson, who, up until making that statement, had been some sort of British politician.
Ann Coulter Gets It →
hillaryis69: One aspect of the pro-Hillary movent that has been truly boggling my mind is how it continues to sound more and more like the conservative movement did a few years ago. Key phrases like “liberal media bias” keep popping up in the discourse, and they are increasingly relying on FOX News for a perceived balance, which is just scary. Geraldine Ferraro is now a fixture on FOX, and Gov....
New Couple Alert! →
Perez is losing his shit. That’s Natalie Portman’s new boyfriend. No joke! His name is Devendra Banhart and he’s a singer. The commenters are losing even more of their shit. Either he’s got a REALLY BIG DICK or HE CAN REALLY EAT A VAJAYJAY!!! Scary looking dude, but, cool that she’s dating an indie rocker. Fortunately, some are setting the record straight…...
Are People Ready for an Emo Bond? →
I sure am! Of course, CNN is applying the term “emo” inappropriately here. They’re using it as short-hand for “emotional”, as opposed to the “white, skinny, eye-makeup-wearing suburbanite with sidebangs and tight pants who is kind of like a goth but much less scary and much more Harry Potter” definition. I’d pay ten bucks to see that version of 007. ...
The 50 Greatest Comedy Sketches of All Time →
Incredibly thorough list, almost all with videos. From The State to Mr. Show to Monty Python, and of course a bunch of vintage SNL. Plus, I’d been meaning to watch “Who’s on First” for ages. So good.
Flowers For... Algernod? →
All I can think about is the time we read Flowers for Algernon in 7th grade and I told this girl who didn’t read the book that Charlie ate Algernon in the end, and she raised her hand and said that out loud to the entire class.
This Makes Me Feel Dirty →
I flip over the iPod dial to Chuckmore: The Mix and drift off.
The FADER - Exclusive Freeload: Brothers FADER Mix →
This may be a fun mix (I haven’t listened yet) but anything ever written about anything by anybody at The Fader annoys me so bad that I immediately tune out and put whatever they wrote about in the “never again” category of my brain. Describing these dudes as having “their paws on a grip of projects” (emphasis added, duh), the author then goes on to describe...
Vitter Me
I wouldn’t say this is a “car crash”, but more like an “emission of guilt”… Whoops! I mean ADmission. Emission is what happened during the thing he was trying to avoid admitting to when he crashed his car.
What Once Was Dead...
I hung out with Aeja’s dad for a bit yesterday and he had just finished reading The Long Emergency, which is basically one of those doomsday scenario “We’re running out of oil and everyone will have to learn how grow their own food and ride horses again because cities are history and it could happen ANY MINUTE” books. So he’s a smartish man, and if he’s getting...
Porn for the Blind →
cameronr: This is hilari-genius. topherchris dchly
One Commenter Sums Up This Retarded Argument Quite... →
meta: She screams bloody murder about disenfranchising voters and all the while threatens the electorate with having the superdelegates overturn the will of the voters. Good luck in your career, Corzine.
Hillary is 44 →
Well I just found the place I’m going to spend the rest of my day. Fiercely pro-Hillary is one way to describe it. Blatantly racist would be another. Um… pink? Yup, that’s definitely part of the equation. Willing to destroy any semblance of a Democratic Party for the greater good of the Clinton? You bet. UPDATE: My head is exploding! UPDATE: I just chewed off my foot!
