The Heath Ledger Scientology Suicide Connection

So that weird Google translation burp earlier today got me thinking that maybe there is a secret connection between Heath Ledger and the Church of Scientology. Somethign just didn’t seem right. Seemed innocent enough at first, but wow, I am so far down the rabbit hole now that you could basically write The DaVinci Code: Part II with the puzzle pieces I’ve put together. Here are the theories:

1) Heath Ledger killed himself because he was being pursued/harrased by the Scientologists. Here’s the proof.

2) Scientology is a relic of the Nights Templars. (Adrian Mack’s review of Eyes Wide Shut for The Nerve proves this.)

3) Heath’s great grandfather was actually the one who killed Abraham Lincoln (Nic Cage’s character in National Treasure II: Book of Secrets is based on Heath Ledge, as everyone already knows.)

I rest my case.