What Does France Do With Its Nuclear Waste?

McCain has been touting nuclear power as a cornerstone of his energy policy, pledging to build 45 new plants if he is elected (each costing about $6-$8 billion a pop), and selling the whole thing as a ‘green’, alternative source of energy. True, nuclear produces no greenhouse gases. But what about the toxic waste? That stuff is toxic! Well, a little known fact is that nuclear power produces a relatively small amount of waste. Since America started using nuclear back in the whenevers, all the waste that’s been produced would literally fill up a football field to the depth of 20 feet. That’s nothing. However, the waste — if stored improperly — can turn people into retarded, dickless zombies. It’s toxic, and pretty much lasts forever and ever.

Currently, nuclear waste is stored on site at the plants that produce it, but the plan is to build a repository in some hollowed mountain in Nevada and store it all there. The rationale seems totally sound — scientists say it’s best to store toxic waste in rock deep underground, the mountain is already on a nuclear test site, and it’s only 80 miles away from Vegas, the fastest growing metropolis in the country. Only problem is that nobody in Nevada wants it there. They’re radioactive enough as it is.

People always cite France as a trailblazer for nuclear power, mostly because they are. France has roughly 1/7th the population of America, but have 59 plants to our 104, and get about 87% of their energy from nuclear. Also, everyone over there totally lurves nuclear. It’s a popular program that the population takes pride in. So how does Pierre handle his toxic waste? To begin with, France doesn’t have repositories. When they first started exploring repository sites back in the ‘80s, there was public outcry and protests, and so the idea went caput. Instead, France does two things:

First, they do a thing called ‘reprocess’ the nuclear waste. This doesn’t make it less radioactive (and is super duper bad for the environment) but it does allow the plutonium and unused uranium to be recycled, and also reduces the volume and longevity of their radioactive waste. Reprocessing makes nuclear less ‘green’, but it also reduces 20 years of waste produced by a family of four to a glass cylinder the size of a cigarette lighter. Neat-o.

Second, they don’t just bury this waste in some rocks and forget about it. Instead, they stock it at various sites around the country, monitor it, and at the same time are running a few research labs in the hopes of discovering newer, better methods of destroying the waste. This implied commitment into the future, and this satisfies the French. In return for this leap of faith, the French have zero dependence on foreign oil and non-renewables, at least where their energy is concerned.

Of course, everything isn’t as bon as it seems. Every country close to France hates it because the reprocessing pollutes the hell out of the English Channel and spreads radioactivity into the seas of Western Europe. “France made a historic mistake when it decided to rely so heavily on nuclear power, rather than develop more advanced renewable technologies and efficient utilization methods,” says Didier Anger, the founder of France’s Green Party. “France is no showcase for nuclear power. Before pointing to France as a success story, the American public should ask the French people what they think of the problems of waste, disease, and government cover-ups.”

So there.